Fade to Black

So much has changed since the last time I blogged, that words seem like a shallow substitute for feelings now. But I shall try nevertheless. I think I will contradict my first blog in this one. The glass is neither empty nor full. Life is precariously poised, confused which way to tilt. For the better or for the worse. I probably wouldn't know the difference. The lines separating the good from the bad from the ugly seem blurred.

Someone up there read my first post and decided to show me who exactly was in control. Apparently no one challenges life and comes out smiling.Or broken for that matter. Just numb. No one invites the wrath and stands a chance of survival. Life plays you and you play along. All the way thinking you're the one in control. Wish there was an easier way to crossover from naive to blase.

Maybe life will turn a corner. Maybe it wont. Maybe the secret will hold true. Maybe, like most philosophies, its just a fallacy. Maybe the hoops and the bends will disappear and life will boring again. Wishful thinking.


Life is moving at the speed of sound. But the fear is when the music stops, I'll be caught offguard. offguard as always but what used to be a challenge is now a nightmare. The zeal to uncover what lies beneath is now a fear of uncovering a new bitter truth.

You don't change at the same rate at which life does. And life does not wait for you to regain your balance. In the gap between as is and to be you twist and turn, shout and squirm and eventually succumb to the powers that be.

This kid in the candy store just figured he'd lost the guiding hand. They say, the sooner the better. But this way you're scarred longer. The dark and twisty corridors haunt you longer. The angels disappear, the demons surface and real life seems so much more sinister. And eventually, the bitter gets the better of you.